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How to speak about women and be "Politically Correct"
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN
2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
3. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY
4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANIAN
5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED
6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED
7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED
11.She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR
12.She does not HAVE A MOUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER
MASCULINE SIDE
13.She is not a bad cook - She is MICROWAVE INCOMPATIBLE
How to speak about men and be "Politically Correct"
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has a GRAIN BYPRODUCT STORAGE FACILITY
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
4. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He SEEKS GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
5. He does not get FALLING DOWN DRUNK - He is prone to INVOLUNTARY
GRAVITATIONAL STABILITY SYNDROME
6. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
7. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
8. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
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The Golf is like an 16-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her.
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