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> >The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who
> >spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case
> >inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits
> >in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit
> implicating
> >McDonalds, by the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made
> >them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit
> >will top the 2003 list without question.
> >
> >It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella
> >Awards".
> >
> >Here are this year's winners:
> >
> >6th Place: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
> >$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping
> over
> >a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the
> >store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
> >misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
> >
> >5th Place (tie): A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
> >and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
> >Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the
> >wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
> >
> >5th Place(tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
> leaving
> >a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not
> >able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener
> was
> >malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door
> >connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
> >family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the
> >garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and
> a
> >large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming
> >the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the
> >tune of $500,000.
> >
> >4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
> >$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his
> next
> >door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's
> fenced
> >yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
> might
> >have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had
> >climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly
> with a
> >pellet gun.
> >
> >3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
> >of Lancaster Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink
> and
> >broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because
> Ms.
> >Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an
> >argument.
> >
> >
> >2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the
> >owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the
> >bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth.
> This
> >occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in
> >the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was
> awarded
> >$12,000 and dental expenses.
> >
> >
> >1st Place: This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
> >Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot
> >Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, (from an Oklahoma
> >University football game), having driven onto the freeway, he set the
> >cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into
> >the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.
> V.
> >left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago
> for
> >not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do
> >this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The
> >company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just
> in
> >case
> >there were any other complete morons buying their recreation
> vehicles.
>
_________________
Dogs have masters, Cats have Staff
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