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I got this in my email yesterday, thought it was quite funny.
>No sex tonight?
>
>I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
>much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
>I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
>their heart.
>FOR EXAMPLE
>One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
>the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
>it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
>So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
>hear...
>"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
>me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
>She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
>who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
>Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
>The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
>her.
>We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
>department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
>different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
>so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
>compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
>We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
>diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited.
>She
>must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
>think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
>she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop
>when I said, "That's fine, honey."
>She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
>Smiling with excited anticipation she finallysaid, "I think this is all
>dear, let's go to the cashier."
>I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
>feel like it."
>Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
>"WHAT???!!!"
>I then said, "Reallyhoney! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
>while.
>You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
>to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
>look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
>for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
>Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
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